~DO YOU REMEMBER...~

Do you remember ...
...the first step you took?
...the first time you got on the school bus?
...your first friend?
...the first book you wrote?
...the first time you shot a basketball, went to a dance, or wore a swimmsuit?
...leaving elementary school and moving on to junior high?
...how you could never leave your mother' side?
Do you remember...
...the first time someone made fun of you, and you realized what it meant?
...the first time you inspected yourself in the mirror, poking and squezzing?
...the first time you cried yourself to sleep because you were hideous looking?
...the first time you ran a mile, or did a set of 100 crunches?
...the first time someone complimented you on a weight loss?
...the first time you went down a size?
...the first time you looked in the mirrow and no longer saw yourself?
...the first time you stood up and the room turned black for a little bit?
...the first time you lost control and how sore your throat was?
Do you remember...
...how you lied to your friends about food?
...trying to hide, to pull away from everyone?
...the world swirling around, and you so all alone, afraid and tired?
...wanting to cry and not being able to?
...the pain you feel now, knowing that nothing had changed?
The pain and nothing has changed -- it has to end somehow, someday -- but you' ve been saying that for so long!
I no longer care how it ends, it just has to stop! Please let it end. Let me sleep in peace -- no more crying, no more nightmares, no more looks of shame, no more lies.....